It's about this time of my yearly routine that I look back on the previous year and think to myself, "What all has happened this past year?" Sometimes I try to go through each month of the previous year and try to remember one thing I accomplished that month. At times it's hard to remember, which is sad. Other things easily pop into my memory, and those are usually the "high moments" of my year.
Here is my list: twelve moments that stand out to me from 2013, by month.
January: Came home from my Disney World internship
February: Completed a "Photo-A-Day" Instagram challenge
March: Gave up Facebook for Lent
April: Road trip to Missouri for my cousin's wedding
May: Purchased my first "pro" camera equipment
June: Smashed my thumb under a falling railroad tie
July: Played copious amounts of League of Legends while healing from said railroad tie
August: Returned to college and went "official" with my wonderful girlfriend after months of talking
September: Landed a design position for yearbook staff
October: Road trip to Wisconsin to visit my girlfriend
November: Thanksgiving with my family
December: Finished my semester with flying colors and good academic momentum
Looking back, it was a good year overall. I had many wonderful moments (emphasis on the trip to see my girlfriend), yet at the same time, I feel like there are little memories that have slipped through the cracks that I've forgotten. It's a sad fact of life that most people don't always remember every positive moment.
For that reason, I have an idea for this new year. New Year's "resolutions" are horribly cliché, and are often quickly forgotten and broken easily, so we'll just call it an idea for now. I'd like to start a journal of sorts. One of my professors keeps sketchbook journals, and I think it's a great idea. His journals are filled with writings, doodles, pasted photos, and thoughts he's had over the years and immortalized on the pages. Some of them are long and took a substantial amount of time to document; others are shorter and more staccato. But looking through the pages, there's thousands of thoughts documented.
I want to do that. Any given moment of any day, I have fleeting thoughts for possible art projects, photos I could take, places I want to visit, and things I want to do. Why should I let life continue to happen and let these innate desires of mine be forgotten?
So this year, I'm starting a journal. I've invested in a sketchbook, and I plan to fill it. Perhaps this year will fill the book; or perhaps it will leave some empty pages. But at the end of the year, I would love to look through it and see what ideas this year has inspired in my life. Who knows, maybe some of the ideas I write down will lead to adventures and projects in reality. Life is what we make it, and we only have so much time. I intend to make the most of it.
I also plan to post on this blog more regularly, so stay tuned; there's more to come! Here's to a wonderful year.
Happy new year, everyone.
**ending only to begin again**
- Knolster
Currently I am taking an undergraduate class on Christian Faith. As it is a required course at my institution, I was skeptical at best... I expected the class to be nothing more than a lengthy, boring lecture period filled with note-taking and dreary assigned readings. While theology can be interesting and, at times, fascinating, I was not looking forward to sitting through hell to learn about heaven.
But thus far, I am happily wrong. It’s been anything but academic hell; so far, through the first periods of lecture, it has been an intuitive learning experience – replete with honest peer discussions from the students, as well as insights and thoughts to ponder from the professor.
This blog is named Journeys. I chose the name because I feel that life is the “ultimate” journey... one made up of many facets, such as faith, relationships, personal development, and struggles. Ever since starting this blog, I’ve noticed more when the word “journey” is used. So when I read the syllabus and saw that our professor had named our first written assignment of the semester “My Faith Journey” – an essay we would write to discuss our own personal spiritual progress – I was excited. Upon writing it, I thought it fitting to share it here.
So, join me as I present to you my faith journey, which continues to grow with every new day.
My Faith Journey
Though I have experienced highs and lows in my faith walk, I can’t remember a time when I was without faith. There have been difficulties and hardships, of course; but I have always known I had a purpose, and that there was a God who cared about what happened to me. To me, faith is the cornerstone of life. Without faith, I can do nothing. I feel that it is what one puts their faith in that matters. My faith has always been growing, though at times it has faltered. But ultimately, my faith in Jesus Christ is at the core of “me”, and I cannot imagine life without it.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had some form of faith in my life. As a very young boy, I can clearly remember being three years old with my parents at my bedside, and making the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Soon after, I recall attending “Story Hour”; a mid-week preschool learning time provided by a local Christian Reformed church. I remember hearing Bible stories and singing songs about what we heard. I learned that Jesus wanted us all to be “fishers of men” as we followed His teaching. My family always pursued God and His will for our lives; we read and studied the Bible, prayed daily, and lived godly lifestyles. So even at a young age, my faith was beginning to bloom.
From there, my faith continued to develop. At age five, I moved with my family to a local Baptist church, where I spent probably five years or so. Through church, Sunday School, junior church, and youth group, my faith grew stronger. I understood salvation fully, and I knew I was a “Christian”, but I was still definitely developing as a believer, much less as an individual.
As my family’s faith grew together, we wanted more of God, and we felt that the Baptist church we had called home for years did not share our passion or hunger for God. Though they were definitely our church family for a season, it seemed like they were simply comfortable with Christianity as a Sunday church routine. But we wanted “Sunday” to be a lifestyle, and not just a charade. So we moved to a Pentecostal church; there, we felt much more passionate about living our purpose as children of God, and not just existing in it. However, after about a year or two there, we grew dissatisfied with the church’s leadership. Elements of favoritism, pride, and “cliques” were prominent, and grew more obvious as time passed. We decided to move on, looking for another church.
As I entered adolescence, it was around this time that I feel my desire for God honestly began to develop; no longer was I just learning about Him, but I really wanted to seek Him and know Him. We switched churches again; this time, we found an Assemblies of God church. While I loved it there, and felt my faith beginning to grow, my parents weren’t sure if it was the best place for us. We moved to a new town a year later, and switched churches again.
Then came hardship. Throughout the years, my family has yearned to find a church to call home, but we have had a difficult time. It wouldn’t seem so hard to find a church, but finding a church family who shares your desire for growth is another story. Even to this day, I have a very hard time trusting churches, and I feel this inevitably affects my faith. I understand that we (the body of Christ) are the Church; Jesus has expressed multiple times through the writings of Paul and others that we are to build each other up and love each other as brothers and sisters in Him. However, through my experience, while churches may seem friendly, there always seem to be motives that would say otherwise. There are many factors to churches, such as how its members treat each other, how the leadership works, and how money is handled (to name a few). Things like how Communion is performed matter to me; some churches I’ve been to take Communion in a haphazard, “lax” way that lent no solemness to the rite. Though we would find churches we liked initially, there was always something that would drive us away – anything from pastors’ families acting high and mighty to odd worship practices. Some churches felt like cults; others were complacent and pursued nothing. Passion for God was scarce, and my family and I were judged by many for ours. Most of my teen years were spent between churches, and I never found a church to call home for long.
College has presented its own set of challenges to my faith. It was upon entering college that I started really thinking for myself, making educated decisions, and “doing research” before believing anything. Discussions of faith have abounded, as I attend a Christian university full of people like myself. Through my undergraduate years, I feel I have developed not only as an individual, but also as a believer. Concepts like alcohol, homosexuality, and popular forms of entertainment have also added to my constant quest for truth; as the Bible has many things to say about these things, many arguments can be made in how they are perceived and applied in today’s culture. And as time progresses, I’m hearing more and more dissension in the ranks of the Church.
But through it all, my faith remains. It is stronger every day, and I want nothing more than to pursue the Lord, discovering how I should live, and how I can be a light in a world that is desperately and hauntingly dark. The journey continues still; and with each step, I am even more excited for the next.
So there's this girl... we'll call her my "significant other". Though we are not so public about it right now, we are currently "in talks"... our friendship of four years has seen its share of highs and lows, but is truly something special that I wouldn't trade for anything. To say I do not love her would be the saddest lie I could ever tell. She's a wonderful person, but also one of the most challenging people I've ever met.
Tonight, this girl and I were exploring some of our deepest worries and insecurities about ourselves, our lives, and each other. We were both feeling very emotional about things, and though we are insanely supportive of each other through thick and thin, tonight was a heavy night for us. Our conversation was honest, raw, and painful as we explored our own thoughts and qualms.
It was just past eleven when she decided she wanted to take a break from the conversation to write. Hmm, not a bad idea; I thought. I'll just do some writing of my own.
As she went offline, and just as I was about to close out of everything to write some of my own thoughts, I absentmindedly started reading a page of quotes on friendship that I had opened at some point during our conversation. After skimming a few drab, overly cliché quotes about love, I was about to close the tab, when a rather lengthy post caught my eye. Without reading it, I glanced down to see who the author was. Bob Marley? My interest piqued, I decided to read the quote... which then proceeded to blow my mind all over the walls of the room.
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, do you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul, and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind... like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day; and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley
Holy crap. Everything that this rasta man just said... was everything I wanted to say in that moment. Nothing but pure, unabashed love. A love that can never be explained with mere words. Love so honest, it has to be the same kind of love that Jesus, who is truth, shows to us.
Sometimes friendship is simple. But true, honest friendship is beautiful. When you have a true friend who you can trust, and who cares as much about you as you do for them, that's nothing short of amazing. You will be hard pressed to find many friends like this in life... I consider myself lucky to have found even one.
Do not take friendship lightly... for it is one of the most wonderful things you can have in this life
**don't worry, be happy**
- Knolster
