But thus far, I am happily wrong. It’s been anything but academic hell; so far, through the first periods of lecture, it has been an intuitive learning experience – replete with honest peer discussions from the students, as well as insights and thoughts to ponder from the professor.
This blog is named Journeys. I chose the name because I feel that life is the “ultimate” journey... one made up of many facets, such as faith, relationships, personal development, and struggles. Ever since starting this blog, I’ve noticed more when the word “journey” is used. So when I read the syllabus and saw that our professor had named our first written assignment of the semester “My Faith Journey” – an essay we would write to discuss our own personal spiritual progress – I was excited. Upon writing it, I thought it fitting to share it here.
So, join me as I present to you my faith journey, which continues to grow with every new day.
My Faith Journey
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had some form of faith in my life. As a very young boy, I can clearly remember being three years old with my parents at my bedside, and making the decision to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Soon after, I recall attending “Story Hour”; a mid-week preschool learning time provided by a local Christian Reformed church. I remember hearing Bible stories and singing songs about what we heard. I learned that Jesus wanted us all to be “fishers of men” as we followed His teaching. My family always pursued God and His will for our lives; we read and studied the Bible, prayed daily, and lived godly lifestyles. So even at a young age, my faith was beginning to bloom.
From there, my faith continued to develop. At age five, I moved with my family to a local Baptist church, where I spent probably five years or so. Through church, Sunday School, junior church, and youth group, my faith grew stronger. I understood salvation fully, and I knew I was a “Christian”, but I was still definitely developing as a believer, much less as an individual.
As my family’s faith grew together, we wanted more of God, and we felt that the Baptist church we had called home for years did not share our passion or hunger for God. Though they were definitely our church family for a season, it seemed like they were simply comfortable with Christianity as a Sunday church routine. But we wanted “Sunday” to be a lifestyle, and not just a charade. So we moved to a Pentecostal church; there, we felt much more passionate about living our purpose as children of God, and not just existing in it. However, after about a year or two there, we grew dissatisfied with the church’s leadership. Elements of favoritism, pride, and “cliques” were prominent, and grew more obvious as time passed. We decided to move on, looking for another church.
As I entered adolescence, it was around this time that I feel my desire for God honestly began to develop; no longer was I just learning about Him, but I really wanted to seek Him and know Him. We switched churches again; this time, we found an Assemblies of God church. While I loved it there, and felt my faith beginning to grow, my parents weren’t sure if it was the best place for us. We moved to a new town a year later, and switched churches again.
Then came hardship. Throughout the years, my family has yearned to find a church to call home, but we have had a difficult time. It wouldn’t seem so hard to find a church, but finding a church family who shares your desire for growth is another story. Even to this day, I have a very hard time trusting churches, and I feel this inevitably affects my faith. I understand that we (the body of Christ) are the Church; Jesus has expressed multiple times through the writings of Paul and others that we are to build each other up and love each other as brothers and sisters in Him. However, through my experience, while churches may seem friendly, there always seem to be motives that would say otherwise. There are many factors to churches, such as how its members treat each other, how the leadership works, and how money is handled (to name a few). Things like how Communion is performed matter to me; some churches I’ve been to take Communion in a haphazard, “lax” way that lent no solemness to the rite. Though we would find churches we liked initially, there was always something that would drive us away – anything from pastors’ families acting high and mighty to odd worship practices. Some churches felt like cults; others were complacent and pursued nothing. Passion for God was scarce, and my family and I were judged by many for ours. Most of my teen years were spent between churches, and I never found a church to call home for long.
College has presented its own set of challenges to my faith. It was upon entering college that I started really thinking for myself, making educated decisions, and “doing research” before believing anything. Discussions of faith have abounded, as I attend a Christian university full of people like myself. Through my undergraduate years, I feel I have developed not only as an individual, but also as a believer. Concepts like alcohol, homosexuality, and popular forms of entertainment have also added to my constant quest for truth; as the Bible has many things to say about these things, many arguments can be made in how they are perceived and applied in today’s culture. And as time progresses, I’m hearing more and more dissension in the ranks of the Church.
But through it all, my faith remains. It is stronger every day, and I want nothing more than to pursue the Lord, discovering how I should live, and how I can be a light in a world that is desperately and hauntingly dark. The journey continues still; and with each step, I am even more excited for the next.
