Closure: A Dream

It had been a good work day. No better feeling than punching out, he thought. He wasn’t tired so much as relieved... that feeling that a runner has at the finish of a race. Exhilaration? No, that was a bit much.

Turning around the bend in the walk, he slowed as he saw her coming. She was still a ways away; maybe she hadn’t seen him. He slowed his pace a bit, but tried to look elsewhere. He could not. Just the sight of her spurned a sea of memories and emotions he had tried to calm for weeks now. He couldn’t even look at her blonde hair without remembering it being draped across his chest, the cool feeling he got when he ran his fingers through it... the scent of her, the way her eyes fairly danced when she smiled.

They met at the fork in the path. One way from here... they would have to walk together, or else it would be awkward. He spoke first. “Hi, Lynn.”

Her blue eyes met his for the first time in what felt like eons, bringing back memories. Even after work, she looked amazing. “Hello.” She was distant, but was not cold.

He cracked a grin. It hurt a bit. Still tender. Damn, she did a number on you, he thought to himself. Get it together. It’s water under the bridge.

They walked on for a bit. There was no one else in sight. Fancy that... and yet after weeks of the silent treatment, here they walked together. Fate can be such a bitch sometimes.

The path narrowed, and their hands almost touched. Electricity seared through his mind, momentarily stunning him. Recovering, he forced himself to not think about the sheer joy her fingers had brought him when they were lightly clasped between his own. The way his heart had melted effortlessly in her hands when she caressed his arms with her fingertips. Their hands touched again. This time, they both stopped, turning to each other. He was still a bit at a loss on what to say. She seemed a bit perplexed, but said nothing.

Finally he breathed. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

She turned and took another step forward. “Busy with work. But I’ve been doing okay... you?”

“Same, actually... work, life, work.” He walked beside her again, and her hand slipped into his. In that moment, he was reminded of just how dangerous her touch was... how fast she had seduced him. But he let her hold his hand, and entwined her fingers between his. Their history preceded them. The talking was easier now.

“Dating? Me neither.”

“Weekend’s coming up. I can’t wait.”

They walked slower now. His left hand on her side, holding her body close. Her right hand on his shoulder. Just like old times... almost.

They were at the parking lot now. Their walk slowed even more. Her fingers slipped from his, but lingered across his palm. “Well if you’re not busy tonight, I’ll be making Italian. You can come if you’d like; I could use the company.” Her voice was velvet.

He paused a moment before looking back into her eyes- a dangerous move. She was beautiful. But he brushed her hand from his. “No. This is closure.”

She said nothing as he turned and walked away.

Chapters

What do most people do when they've been courting someone for a year and a half and break up? I'm not sure, but apparently it's different from my experience.

For those of you who aren't aware, I have been dating a wonderful girl from Ohio for the past year and a half. Rebecca has been a close friend for several years now (we met in college), and it was summer of last year when we decided to shake things up and go on a date sometime. Going into the relationship, we knew it would be tricky since we live seven hours apart and literally wouldn't see each other much due to her graduating and my still being in school. Long distance relationships are difficult. But we made it work... we wrote letters incessantly, texted/Facebooked, and talked on the phone. There were many pitter-patterings of the heart, fireworks, and twitterpation. All was wonderful and beautiful, save for the fact that we never got to see each other. We saw each other face-to-face only three times over the course of our courtship, but they were always happy times. After 2011, I returned to school, she went to Africa, I went to work at Disney World, she returned from Africa... life happened. Our talks grew less interesting and less frequent... the letters stopped. We saw the inevitable coming. So when it finally happened, we were in mutual agreement. The end of our romance came peacefully.

I love Facebook's Pirate language. It makes everything better.

As soon as "Andy Knol went from being 'in a relationship' to 'single' " hit Facebook news feeds everywhere, the replies were mostly along the same lines...

"That sucks, man."

"Just know you're still a wonderful person!"

"I'm so sorry!"

While I do greatly appreciate the sympathy of my friends and family, I would like to make something clear. Yes, we broke up... but it's not as harsh as it may sound. The term "break-up" doesn't really apply in this case. A real break-up would involve severance... of hearts, of feelings, of relationship. But we didn't lose anything by ending our pursuance of romance. We're just as good of friends still, if not closer because of our history. The ending of our courtship was not the result of anger, heartache, and a strongly toned "I'm breaking up with you" laced with expletives, but rather a mature decision made as a result of much thought and prayer. And as such, we are perfectly okay with getting back together if God decides to bring us closer together in the future.

No matter what happens, there will always be Halo.

I don't regret anything about my relationship with Rebecca. There were many joyful moments, and countless moments when my heart skipped beats. Love is wonderful, but true love usually masks itself in many facets. I discovered many facets of love with my relationship with Rebecca, and I am very appreciative of the friendship we still share. As for our future, we will always be friends, but we leave it up to God if He wants to write more into our later chapters.

So where am I now through all of this? Florida, for starters. I have just less than two months left at Disney World. After that, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll go back to school and work on that double art degree I've been chipping away at. Or maybe I'll stay local in Indiana for a while. Or maybe pick up some field work elsewhere. I'm not sure. But now is when I close my eyes and breathe, thanking God for each chapter of my story.


**42**

- Knolster

Challenge

Today in one of my college-level classes, I was asked to list the importance of different values in my life. The paper before me listed several wonderful things, such as integrity, love, creativity, and power. One item on the list struck me, however. Challenge. While things like integrity are key to my character, and things like creativity are definitive of my personality, challenge stopped me in my mental tracks. The more I thought of it, the more I realized how valuable challenge can be to an individual, and the potential power it holds.

Definition 5 on dictionary.com fits my perspective perfectly.

chal·lenge [chal-inj]

difficulty in a job or undertaking that is stimulating to one engaged in it

Thinking on this, I marveled at the prospect of challenge. When facing a crisis, I always analyze the situation, deduce my options on how to deal with that situation, and make a decision. Once that decision has been made, I follow through and (if possible) avoid or solve the problem. This usually takes milliseconds, and I don't even notice. What I never think of, though, is the challenge I have faced and defeated. Challenge can be horrific, but if faced properly, it can make a person better. I feel that every challenge holds potential for progress, and if dealt with correctly, will make a person stronger.

The more I think about challenge, the more I value it. Challenge ushers motivation to progress oneself. This progress can be physical, mental, social, emotional, or spiritual. Challenge knows no bounds, and the only limit with challenge is one's response to it. Without challenge, we become stagnant. Challenge holds the power to change every facet of an environment, but only through those who choose to face that challenge. So with that in mind, think about the challenges in your life, and their potential to make you a stronger person.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." - James 1:2-4 NLT

And with that, I say challenge accepted.

Working For A Rodent

Wow, time flies! It's been over a month since my last blog post; so I'm going to skip the many sincere and profuse apologies to my audience and get right to it. The first month and a half of working and living at Disney World has taught me a lot. It's hard to describe, but there are things that I have learned simply about myself that it took working for a mouse to figure out.

The best boss I'll ever work for

Let's break it down into three major arenas, shall we?

Arena #1 - PUBLIC TRANSIT SUCKS. PERIOD.
Yes, we all knew this, but when it's your only modus ferre (way of getting anywhere), you come to realize just how usefully horrid it really is. My worst day thus far with our bus system was on one of my days off... our ugly metal people movers broke down consistently enough to piss me off to the point that I wanted to disown buses forever. Amid stories of buses catching fire and overheating on interstates, one may question why we still use them if they are truly this terrible. It's painfully simple: we don't have a choice. If I had a car, I would use it and get wherever I want to go 75% faster than if I took a bus. But, the major tradeoff is gas money: at this time, I pay nothing to get from point A to B. Free is wonderful, but you get what you pay for. It doesn't help anything that our ailing buses are old and worn out to begin with; add to that the factors such as heavy traffic, cranky bus drivers, and unmerciful Florida heat, and you have a recipe for a carless disaster. Oddly enough, I'm figuring out which buses are lemons by the bus number... bus #86929 has broken down every time I've ever seen it. #87054 and #87069 have been the best I've encountered thus far...

 Let's hope that nothing like THIS ever happens to my bus...

Arena #2 - PHYSICAL DEMANDS OF WORK ARE ALWAYS MORE DIFFICULT THAN EXPECTED.
I found this out the hard way. I knew that PhotoPass was a job that would have me on my feet all day, but I never expected the constant wear and tear. After the first week of work, I bought gel inserts for my shoes. Second week, Vitamin C to stay healthy. Third week, I was bedridden. Fourth week, got better only to get sick AGAIN. Seriously?! In the first month of working for Disney, I got sick TWICE. Thing is, I never get sick. Yes, Florida has different germs than the Midwest, but it's nothing my immune system can't handle, right? Oh, how wrong I was! Three days straight I had to call in sick, followed by another sick day the week after. My throat was so sore I couldn't even moan... partly from hollering at Guests to smile for the camera. "Okay, move this way... now back a step... hey! COME BACK! Now smile... that's great... smile! SMILE!!!" (slight exaggeration, but you get the picture) Just try to get stubborn people to listen to you over the sounds of a theme park filled with people... then do it all day, and let me know how your throat feels when you get home. Not that I'm complaining, I love my job... it just wears on me.



Arena #3 - MONEY DISAPPEARS.
Again, common knowledge. But the realization of this fact just became real to me. I'm paying my own rent now. I'm buying my own food, and toilet paper, and food, and I shouldn't have bought that TV, and "crap, I eat a lot... must stop... can't stop, dangit..." There's no college loans to help pay for anything now; it's all on me. Gotta love responsibility! I knew I'd have to be responsible, but reality is a dog...

That being said, and in lieu of my eating and spending habits, I have decided to review a local eatery to relieve stress and splurge on myself. (I'm so lavish...)

Bahama Breeze is a local restaurant located just down the street from Vista Way. A 20 minute walk on a good day, it's a scenic journey through foliage, sidewalks, and an asphalt jungle filled with emotionless motorists. Once you arrive at Bahama Breeze, however, the stress of the journey melts away into the Caribbean aura that envelops you upon arriving. The restaurant offers standard valet parking - a necessary commodity in the ever-selfish society of modern times. Valet parking, an ever-present staff, and live music lend the atmosphere an upper-class feel, though the restaurant is very relaxed and open. Bahama Breeze features both indoor and outdoor dining arrangements.
The outdoor pavilion-like section features large tables and a stage where music artists perform live shows as guests dine; while the indoor section boasts intimate booths, darker lighting, and a full bar. In terms of alcohol, the restaurant spares no expense; there is a book of mixed drinks and Caribbean concoctions at every table; however, the restaurant also offers many non-alcoholic exotic beverages as well as Coke products.

I didn't realize I had the menu opened to the "Beer" section when I took this... >.>

The menu is decent, offering the usual entree and appetizer variety that can appeal to anyone's tastes; there's always something one would love to try. There are many seafood and sandwich options, including a "Build Your Own Burger" section that I would love to have sometime. Only two steak options exist, though I feel the variety of the menu makes up for it.

For an appetizer, I chose Bahama Breeze's signature coconut shrimp, served with fresh sliced pineapple and a lightly tart citrus mustard dipping sauce. My server for the evening, Spencer, informed me that this was Bahama Breeze's "house" sauce; an original blend similar to honey mustard, but smoother and with a tart punch of citrus that contrasts nicely with the delightfully sweet taste.

Signature Coconut Shrimp with Pineapple - one of Bahama Breeze's signature appetizers

Looking on to the entrees, I selected the buttermilk fried chicken, battered in-house and served on mashed potatoes, drizzled with lemon butter sauce on layers of spinach and tomatoes... all garnished with corn, chives, and black beans. The chef who prepared my entree also delivered his creation right to my table, which added a personal touch to my experience. The portion sizes were also wonderful; two large boneless chicken breasts with a delicious breading served atop a bed of hand mashed potatoes. I definitely got enough to fill my hungry tummy.

Buttermilk Fried Chicken Breast

No review would be complete without a dessert, so to close out my already-sufficient meal, I chose another Bahamas Breeze signature menu item: Rebecca's Key Lime Pie. Smooth and rich with delightfully popping lime flavor that dances on the tongue and topped with lightly toasted whipped cream, it was delectable. The pie was served with two drizzles of syrup on the side - raspberry and mango. When eaten with the raspberry drizzle, the pie gained a sweet tang; the mango added a tropical swirl of additional flair. Needless to say, I savored every bite of this delicacy that was truly worth the extra money, though the last two bites were a bit rich...

Rebecca's Key Lime Pie - a Bahama Breeze signature dessert

All in all, I would say that though it is expensive, you definitely get your money's worth at Bahama Breeze. The service is wonderful, and the food is simply amazing. I give it an 8 out of 10! Good thing I had a $10 dollar off coupon ;)

And, the coolest thing ever, they draw on your to-go boxes!

Oh, this made me happy.

In other news, I am now fully trained in my job as a photographer, which means I get to hang out with characters like Tigger and Mickey. It's much more fun than taking pictures of immobile objects (think of a giant tree in Animal Kingdom, for instance... I wonder how many thousands of photos I've taken of that beautiful thing!) I now look forward to park hopping with my shifts; I would love to pick up a shift or two at Hollywood Studios, for instance. A change of scenery is needed... I think Animal Kingdom is going to drive me cray cray soon.

In closing, I've never loved Mickey more. The longer I work at Disney, the more I see how dedicated to quality the company is. Nothing is perfect, but in terms of integrity, Disney is very committed. Walt's legacy lives on through all of us, and it's pretty cool to see people's dreams coming true every day I'm here. So, thanks Lord for getting me here. Now show me what to do...



**om nom nom**

- Knolster

And So The Magic Begins...

What a first week... the information overload, the constant running, scheduling, rescheduling, and connections. My brain's still catching up with all of it, but...

 

I MADE IT!!! :D

Okay, but for reals, it's been a hell of a week. It seriously feels like it's been a month already. I can already feel Disney sucking the life out of me, and apparently it's not uncommon to feel this way. Collectively, all Disney employees agree on one thing: Your soul belongs to Disney once you work here... it's almost like Tim Burton's characters from the movie 9.

**Disney > my life**

Really, though, the training process has been a great experience so far, and I love my mentors and superiors. If I can say anything about Disney, they treat their employees like gold. I've never been happier working for a company. The opportunities here are amazing. Even after completing my internship, I can see myself coming back to pursue career work here, if not just because I enjoy it so much. But enough about how much I looooove it here...

The rundown!

Monday: Got on the plane. Experienced what news outlets across the nation dubbed the "most ideal flight of the day... Chicago to Orlando." (Not a bad first flight for this cool cat... really, I rather enjoyed it. According to my traveling buddy, I looked like a young child with my face plastered to the window in our wing seat.)

Got off the plane. Caught a late and frazzled shuttle. Got checked in at Disney. Filled out loads of paperwork that probably killed hundreds of trees. Moved into new digs. And the digs are pretty nice, no complaints here.

Tuesday: more paperwork, plus orientation for new CP's. (CP is that epic abbreviation everyone uses for "college program" interns.)

Wednesday: Traditions, an orientation to the company, and the rite of passage that ultimately sells your soul and current life to Disney. Literally.

Thursday: Commence much learning.

Friday: More training.

Saturday: MORE training, plus I was approved for my role as a PhotoPass photographer. I'm official.

Sunday: I get to visit Animal Kingdom (where I'll be working) for the first time. I already love the park... it's quite a friendly place, though a bit muggy.

Monday-Tuesday: Disney college courses? College credit from Disney? Heck to the yes! Already, I'm reading an assigned book, and it's pretty legit... heck, it's the kind of book I could read even if it WEREN'T assigned.

 Highlights of the week: seeing a Florida sunset (they are quite beautiful), swimming for hours at a time, meeting some really cool people, dancing through a Florida downpour, messing with $8,000 worth of photography equipment, catching lizards, and exploring a Star Wars gala at Disney's Hollywood Studios. Definitely good times, to say the least.

A few quick thoughts... as a Disney Cast Member, I've realized some things, even in my first days with the company. Disney loves people. But even more than that, they love HAPPY people... and that includes employees. I have never felt more loved by a company than I do here. Seeing how committed to excellence Disney is, I feel it resonate with my desire for excellence in life. In case you don't know, I'm a stickler for excellence... if I do something, I want it perfect. Many of the things I stress in my everyday life are things that are important here as well... things like character, integrity, honesty, and dedication. It's a great feeling when your work environment harmonizes with your personal feelings and desires.

Also, I legit cried when I saw the castle at Magic Kingdom for the first time... any place that can do that to a man is definitely a powerful entity.

The perks of working for Disney are wonderful. As a Cast Member, I get so many benefits, discounts, and opportunities being here that most people would kill for. But as a Cast Member living on Disney-operated property, I get the whole shebang: utilities, maintenance, and complete access to pools, hot tubs, and workout facilities. Also there is a library with real books and movies ( **le gasp!!** ).

A few quick facts about my apartment complex, Vista Way:

    - According to urbandictionary.com, Vista Way is second only to the Playboy mansion in terms of places to get laid. Lots of sex happens here, and I'm not surprised. However, I feel that lots of ALL KINDS of sex happens here, and that fact disturbs me a bit more...

    - Vista Way is the oldest Disney-operated college apartment complex. It's also the most affordable, and in my opinion, the most fun place to live. Other apartments are larger and newer, but I'll take a Vista apartment any day over those other guys. It's cozy and friendly here.

    - Vista Way possesses the most laid back atmosphere of all the housing complexes. Unlike stuffy, burlesque Patterson Court and snobby, slutty Chatham, Vista Way is the fun, friendly place to live.

    - About 80% of the male population here is gay or bisexual. That being said, the remaining straight population is about 90% man whores. All in all, if you're straight, there's a good chance you'll be popular with the ladies, which can be good (single? be my guest), inapplicable (as in my case... I'm quite happy with my love life), or very bad (darn man whores -.- ).

Freaking man whores... 

What's really cool is that my traveling companion/accountability partner lives directly above me. Not only are her roommates hilariously adorable and fun-loving, but because of this arrangement, my living space is quite expanded... I can crash up there if my apartment is too noisy, and vice versa. It's like I live there too... much food will be shared, many good times will happen; but it's nice to know there's a friendly place nearby with friendly faces.


Disney provides free bus service to and from the parks and local stores, like Wal-Mart and Walgreen's. The thing that's awesome about free transportation is that it's free... no gas money wasted, no issues with car maintenance. BUT, what sucks about free transportation is that it's free transportation... it WILL disappoint you. What was supposed to be a quickie run to Wal-Mart for two things turned into a disastrous three-hour ordeal with grumpy bus drivers, overheating buses, and not one, not two, but FIVE breakdowns. When you're afraid that your bus is going to start on fire (yes, it has happened), bus transportation isn't exactly a great thing anymore. So... yeah. >.<

Food has been pretty legit so far... grocery shopping is oh so fun, but that elusive first paycheck is a tricky little bugger. Thankfully, for those times when I'm simply famished, there's Golden Corral. Just down the street and a short walk from where I live, I'd give it a 7 out of 10... good food at a good price, and heck, you can't beat an all-you-can-eat buffet!

(I had fried chicken, street-style chicken, steak, fish, bean salad, fried okra, fresh rolls, popcorn shrimp, pizza, mashed potatoes with two types of gravy, hush puppy, nachos and cheese, fruit, carrot cake, and cotton candy... all washed down with Dr. Pepper. GOOD EATS!) 

All in all, it's been a crazy first week, and already I've learned a lot. Disney is a wonderful place thus far, but also, there are many crevices here that have yet to be touched by the light of Christ. If this week is any indicator, the next seven months are sure to be an adventure I don't want to miss.

Comment if you must... you know the drill!
And, in the spirit of Disney, have a magical day. =P


**42**

- Knolster

Tears, Mickey, and Brawl

This is it... I'm about to leave my family for seven months to pursue my photography career, or something like that. My bags: packed and at the ready. Traveling buddy? Check. Video game destressing? Currently in progress. =]

Currently, there are three scenarios that the road ahead may bring me.

Scenario one: arrive at Disney, hit the ground running. Learn the ropes, and start having a blast taking photos.

Scenario two: hit the ground. Literally. If that plane crashes, I'm screwed.

Scenario three: I hate my job, and I forgo the benefits of Florida Disneyness and return home.

Erm... hard choice, but I'm gonna go with scenario one. Getting paid to live in Florida for seven months is something I'm quite down with.

Feelings? Plenty, thank you. When I hugged my little sister goodbye and she wouldn't let go, I almost cried. She said something about wanting to go swimming in Florida...

Along with the blatant, tearful reminder that I'm indeed a human being, I'm feeling several other things. Eagerness. Anxiety. Cautiousness. And that odd feeling you get when you're about to do something amazing that you've never quite experienced before.

That's all for now... imma go kick some butt with Kirby now. Sleep? Perhaps... but definitely not much.

Deep breath. Don't look back. And for the love of God, Don't Panic.

**what what**

- Knolster

Balanced Delirium

My year so far in a nutshell:

January: Back to school! Woo!
February: Visited my person of intense romantic interest in Ohio... 'twas a happy Valentine's day.
March: More school...
April: ...more school... BUT WAIT! Internship? I say yes!
May: End of the school semester. Man, time flies...

And now, in just over a week, I am about to embark on my seven month internship at the place where dreams come true: Disney World.

Fact: I've never been to Disney World. Or Florida. Heck, I've never even SEEN the Gulf Coast... or been in an airplane... or lived more than 50 miles from home for longer than a month at a time. This may sound pathetic to you... you might be thinking, "Dude, you need to get out more!" (Go ahead... think it. I'm not mad... actually, I think I'll join you in that thought.)

I'm the first to admit, I need to get out more. As a photographer, travel is one of the greatest assets to my abilities -- it's fun to take photos of things, but it's WAY more fun to take photos of new things in new places. Thus, this will be a good step for building my photography portfolio.

While this seven month Disney World venture is definitely full of firsts for this aspiring photographer, it also comes with some familiarity. Not only do I know some people in Florida, but also I will be joined in my internship with a very close friend of mine from college who will be interning during the same time period as me. I suppose you could say we're Disney intern buddies... we plan to look out for each other during our time at Disney World. Think of it as a "Pumbaa and Timon" thing... but don't try to figure too much out from that analogy. ("So... which one of you is Pumbaa? ha-haa...")

Currently my mind is swirling with information. What to pack... what NOT to pack... what I'll need, what I won't need... what I MIGHT need... what to buy now, what to buy later...

It's crazy. But, amid the furious thoughts and qualms of uncertainty, I feel a peace. God's hand is in this. Out of a sizable pool of applicants from my school, only I and one of my closest friends were chosen for this internship. I feel it's no coincidence, and I am certain that I've been entrusted with this internship for a reason. My recruiter prayed with me and my friend about our future Disneyness, and he prayed that we would bring our light to Disney and show the love of Jesus to everyone we meet there. When he said that, I was floored, and I just sat there for a moment thinking about it. What an opportunity this is, not only to get Disney on my resumé, but also to impact people there... to leave an impression! Leading me to my next thought:

What will that impression be?

I love to think of life as an epic journey made up of many smaller journeys along the way. There are many opportunities and obstacles that life will throw at me as I am taking this journey... and my decisions will either lead me down the same path, or bring me to new places along the way. Think of it as an awesome road trip across America that snakes around to hit lots of cool places along the way...

On this amazing journey called my life, there have been downs... breakups, breakdowns, overhauls, and times when I have felt completely alone and lost. (Admitted, these are usually times when I refuse to listen to my GPS [God].) But there have also been many things that have helped me immensely, such as my parents, mentors, and a little college in Bourbonnais, Illinois where I learned many life lessons outside of the classrooms and met amazing individuals who have shaped me and taught me more than I can even try to wrap my head around. Looking back, I see how far I've come... how many miles I've traveled, and each little bump along the way that has helped me to grow and mature as an individual. Yet, looking ahead now, I see no end to the possibilities that loom ahead, and how many paths branch from the road to Disney.

What does the future hold for me? Only God can know. But man, it's gonna be a heck of a ride, and I know I don't want to miss it.

Also, the future had DARN better include hoverboards.


**snap crackle pop**

- Andy

Journeys: A New Beginning

Hello all. My name is Andy.

In this blog, I will share events, anecdotes, and adventures... most of them my own. Through this blog, you will learn much about me, but hopefully you will also learn more about yourself as you read. I pray you are enlightened as you explore my thoughts, and I encourage feedback and any thoughts you wish to share with me. =P


**nachos**

- Andy